Mom Definition #6

Sticker
n; this fantastic piece of paper that can entertain your baby long enough for you to pee, flush, AND wash your hands because they are totally preoccupied with getting the paper off their hands.

Here baby, mama has to put you down a minute. Look at this cool sticker from the wipes container!

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Mom Definition #5

Nail Clippers
n; the device that removes the talons from your child that seem to grow overnight, and you only notice when a chunk of skin is taken off while they have a Kung-foo death grip on your chest.

HONEY?! Where are the baby nail clippers?!
Are you bleeding, or do you just have a scratch?

Mom Definition #5

Nail Clippers
n; the device that removes the talons from your child that seem to grow overnight, and you only notice when a chunk of skin is taken off while they have a Kung-foo death grip on your chest.

HONEY?! Where are the baby nail clippers?!
Are you bleeding, or do you just have a scratch?

Mom Definition #4

Dishwasher
n; the device that sanitizes your dishes from the inevitable e-coli you’ve been inadvertently growing on the dishes that have gone yet another day without being washed.

n; a storage unit for clean dishes.

Do we have any clean plates? Dunno…check the dishwasher.